I was rolling in bed and couldn't sleep because of messy thoughts so i decided to write them here. This is gonna be a total mess but I hope you'll get something out of it.
First I want to talk about the song of the days i add to the end of my posts. Nothing much about them, other that they're from really different genres and i suggest listening at least a bit of them, because I myself discovered a whole new world of music that has been my support through so much trouble through a blog and Song of the days. They don't all fit in the same playlist but they tell a bit about the mood i was in when i wrote the post.
From one thing to another, I've started writing a story and was thinking if I should it somewhere. I used to write a lot but stopped almost completely because of anxiety and self-consciousness. For once i think this story is reeeaally cool, so if someone is interested in a supernatural fight against the corrupted government, hit me up!
From another thing to a third one, we've made really good progress with our band, and we have our first gig in only a month! Granted it's only one or two songs, not even our own but there will be people there, listening to OUR music. I'm so nervous, but I trust my bandmates and I'm sure we'll deliver! If you're interested in hearing some of our music, open your Instagram and search for @sevensealsband , there's actually some good bits here and there!
From the third thing to a flowerpot, I've been kind of lonely lately. Not as in friends, because I have a whole ton of friends and I appreciate their existence very much, but a different kind of lonely. A closer kind of lonely. I've been single for about six months, maybe more, and I'm just a ttaad lonely. But when it comes to that, I have ssoo much things on my mind like self-esteem issues and social awkwardness so I'm kind of just accepting that I'll probably be single for a looong time. I'll cuddle myself for now!
From the flowerpot to the finishing lines. Some ppl have been asking me why i write a blog about these things, why I'm ''spreading my private things all over the internet''. Well, I'm doing it because it helps me and my anxiety to write my thoughts down and know that someone is reading them, possibly empathizing with what I have to say. Secondly, no matter how weird it sounds, this is a great opportunity for me to get better at writing English, and just writing in general, like sentence structures and avoiding repetitive wordings. Thirdly, if ever a trans kid or adult or whoever finds this blog, and relates to anything in here, or maybe finds some hope, or Something, my writing hasn't been for nothing. I know that especially when I was younger I would've loved someone like me to just share what's on their mind, so that I'd know I'm not alone with my thoughts.
Huh. I feel a lot better already! Hope you have a good rest of the night!
Song of the Day: Twenty One Pilots - Message Man
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